I was just telling this and figured it's too good of a tale not to share (and those who know me irl, i.e. know this and know even moreso why it's so amazing)
Well, once upon a time - a couple of years or so back, my older brother got himself quite wasted. In the melee of his drunken nature, he was trying to find his way home and somehow lost all of his clothes and was near the allotments on the main road to town. There, he stole himself a cabbage and tried to make his way home with it, merrily smashed, but was caught by the police and put in a cell for a night.
My brother become the nudist cabbage thief.
Years later, he (managedlololool) got himself a girlfriend who came down with him from Winchester to visit for a while. She got very drunk one night and tried to steal a coliflower from the same allotments, saying "she wanted to bring something for the sunday dinner". Luckily my brother was fully clothed and sober and convinced her to leave the vegetables alone.
These two nutters are getting married in February: a love bound by vegetables. Oh yes.
And I have to get my colours bleached out of my hair for the wedding :I my brother better love me :U -but I am dying it back the next day loloololol